Thank you all (and by “all” I mean “my mom”) for participating in my gripefest a few days ago. I do honestly want to affirm all the stress and insanity so many of us are feeling as the holidays start to set in, but the morning after my last post, I went to chapel and was really convicted by the sermon. (One of the cool things about being in seminary is that every morning we have class, we have to go to chapel, and the students who preach are usually new at preaching and don’t have to preach often, so it’s often quite good. Also, they are limited to 5 minutes. Can’t beat that.) One of the things the preacher said was “What you focus on, you make room for.”
I was immediately struck by that. I spend so much time and energy worrying that it just takes over, and I end up staying up half the night eating stale off-brand saltines and reading Children of Dune. When I then add to that by posting whiny blog posts and facebook statuses (stati?) I only amplify the problem. Don’t get me wrong – things going horribly wrong is one of the best sources of blogospheric humor. If I cut all negativity out of this blog, the content would be sparse indeed – and isn’t a victory so much better when you’ve had to do a bit of surmounting?
But let’s face it – I am honest-to-God struggling to get to the end of this semester. I am overcommitted, I made some decisions based on the small size of my pocketbook and not based on what would keep me sane and healthy. Don’t worry, no need for an intervention – I will survive the next few weeks just fine without ending up in a padded cell. I’m just saying that this might be a good time to focus on things that really matter, instead of pointing at the looming pile of duedates and repeatedly shreiking “LOOK! It’s HUGE! I might DIE!” It will take up plenty of my and everyone else’s attention without me helping it out.
With all that said, I am at a very good place today. Through a series of low-grade miracles, some bending of the space-time continuum, and some needles moving so fast I’m amazed they didn’t catch on fire, it’s looking like I might actually meet my Thanksgiving deadline. But I’m already victorious, because I don’t care so flipping much if I meet it or not.
Now that I’m home from work, I can finally get to the task of prepping for the holiday. Mom, Dad, brother, and sisters are all coming up, for which I am hugely appreciative and glad to prepare for. And it says something about the couple of weeks I’ve had that the idea of 24 hours with no major demands upon me aside from cooking and cleaning sounds delightful.
Happy Thanksgiving! May your holiday be filled with stuffed-poultry and non-contrived appreciation for life. Be blessed.