Osborn Fiber Studio

Two weeks ago, I did what the kids call a “stealth drop.” Knitty released the “surprise” addendum to their winter issue, and yours truly has a pattern in it!

What actually happened was, I was in the middle of a week of teaching a full-time knitting class (which was awesome!) when the pattern dropped, so I had to really quickly make it a Ravelry page without saying anything else about it. BUT, this pattern was a HUGE load of work, so I want to make sure to celebrate!

Meet the “Incurvatus” shawl. I named it after the Latin phrase, “Incurvatus in Se,” meaning “curved in on oneself.” It’s a theological concept, probably first coined by Augustine and expounded further by Martin Luther, that refers to the human tendancy to be self-absorbed, to put ourselves first on the throne of our lives.

This was one of the first patterns that hatched out of my Migraineur project, because it encapsulates a couple of experiences I have had around migraines.

For a long time, I tended to blame myself for my migraines, thinking that they were in part of a result of my own tendency to become anxious about myself and my first-world problems. If I could just surrender, goes the thinking, I could have peace with God and my life! This is just one of the many places in my life where theological truth has unhelpfully overlapped with mental health realities.

I have a lot more compassion on myself now.

At this point, “Incurvatus” simply represents the position I end up in when I have a migraine – curled up in bed. When I take that position, I am surrendering. Letting go, not to make peace happen, but to wait, trusting peace will come. I don’t blame myself; I didn’t give myself anxiety or migraines any more than I gave myself brown hair. It’s just a part of life.

That’s a lot to communicate in a simple swoosh of cloth.

I meant this pattern to be exquisitely simple. My first draft was just a few lines. The trouble came in when I realized that, as a pattern writer, you actually need to include specific stitch counts for things, even if they’re not really necessary when knitting. This resulted in some very complicated spreadsheets, and lots of emails back and forth with the Knitty team, who were incredibly patient.

All that to say, while it was more complicated to write than I intended, it is very simple to knit. It’s lots and lots of garter stitch; if you’re well enough to knit at all, you can knit this. Markers for increases are placed as you cast on (also helping you count stitches), then pretty much all you have to do is increase at the same points every right-side contrast-colour row, and turn your work at easy-to-find points. A few extra short rows are added at the end of each colour section, and an easy garter-lace border polishes it off. It’s a lot of knitting, but it’s made to be achievable while not feeling great.

I included two sizes: a great big one for cozying up in (which can be worn a number of ways) and a shawlette size (nearly as deep, but not as long, so it’s a lot less knitting). I want to send a massive thank you to my friend Susanah Wilson for knitting the green and grey sample.

Thank you also to Akumalik Netser, who is so much fun to work with as a model! We took these pictures in early fall, during a sunny, windy day, just up the hill from my house on a spot overlooking the tundra.

Finally, a huge thanks to the Knitty team, Amy and Kate, and to intrepid assistant tech-editor Joanne. I learned so much about writing patterns working with you, and I am so thankful you were willing to stick with this pattern and keep massaging it until it’s absolutely as good as it could be. And thanks so much to KDD&co., for the yarn support to knit this in my desert-island yarn, Milarrochy Tweed, and to Kate for loads of encouragement to keep pursuing my design ideas.

I hope you will consider making an “Incurvatus” to wrap yourself in this spring. You can make it in Milarrochy Tweed, like I did – there are innumerable colour combinations you could use to make your own colour shift, and several neutrals to set it off. It would also be a great choice for a handspun gradient, set against a solid that contrasts with the whole series of colours. I know that now that it’s February, every injection of colour is welcome!

Stay cozy my friends. Thanks as always for being here.