Osborn Fiber Studio

I’ve been in a bit of a verbal creative block lately. I’m certainly creating a lot of stuff, but I’m having trouble wording, at least anything longer than an Instagram caption. I think when Jared left on his week-long trip in mid-March, part of my brain just compartmentalized. I need it to wake up now – I have episodes to record, an article to write, and a whole whack of patterns to edit in the next month! I didn’t write a Round Up post on March because April 30th was Easter, and frankly, I didn’t feel like it. But yesterday was my birthday, so I thought I’d say a few words about things I’m thankful for that happened during my thirty-eighth year of life. Interspersed with some random pictures from the last month.

When I was thirty-seven, I learned what it’s like to go through the sort of family trauma that threatens to not only burn you out, but burn down any desire to minister to other people. Looking back on it now, this was surprisingly freeing, and I was surrounded by the sort of supportive people that help you get your priorities in a row. I am incredibly thankful for the space and support our family received.

When I was thirty-seven, I made 26 episodes of the Wool Circle, a subsidiary podcast of Wool n’ Spinning. Probably not a lot of people saw it, but those who did were really nice about it. Making that podcast gives a lot of organization to my making, and while it sometimes threatened to take over, it makes a big difference to me to have another audience/community to share my making with.

That is, in addition to you lovely people who actually come and read this blog – which I’m also thankful for. I started this blog in 2008, on Xanga (wince), back when knit-blogging was still kind of a thing, Ravelry was still in its infancy, and the Yarn Harlot was my only crafting idol. Not a lot of people keep blogs like this any more, and I don’t post as much as I used to. But I’m super grateful for the folks who keep coming here, looking, reading, and saying nice things, even if you don’t know what I’m rambling about. It gives my making and learning a lot more meaning to verbalize it all here.

When I was thirty-seven, I started having all three kids in school for at least part of the day. I got way too excited about this, and way overcommitted, basically holding down three (very) part-time jobs in addition to being the primary housekeeper. I learned that I get to be a generative, creative force as an adult, and this was the year the gears got in motion to broaden those capacities.

When I was thirty-seven, I started a family devotion time with my kids. Sometimes it’s pulling teeth, and I struggle to bring my best self to that time. Quite often it’s the Puddleglum side of my faith that my kids get to see – they’ll probably hate it, passing it on won’t work, but by gosh, it’s the reason our life looks the way it does, so I’ll be darned if I let some stupid thing like my own crappy attitude get in the way of showing up and at least trying. We read through the e100 passages together, the first time we’ve really read the real Bible together, and not a children’s Bible. They’ve got plenty of children’s Bible context for stories, so I think this read-through was sort of successful at giving them a high-flying view of the larger Biblical narrative. Now we’re digging into the ACNA catechism, which is a completely different rhythm, but I think we’re getting into it.

When I was thirty-seven, I learned that I am a pastor, but right now primarily to my kids. I stepped way back from other ministry stuff, and focused on giving them the best time at church I can, and by extension other kids who show up, and not really worrying about *programs*.

When I was thirty-seven, I got proper streaks of grey in my hair. I’m young enough still that I do not want to colour my hair, as people barely take me seriously as it is, so maybe this will help?

When I was thirty-seven, I found new friends in the town I had already been living in for half a decade. They made me feel seen, and like I really do want to keep living here until our kids are through school. Whether that’s how things will actually shake down is beyond my ability to foresee, but that’s OK. I’m just… really thankful for those friends.

When I was thirty-seven, I spent a truly shocking amount of time in front of screens. I mean, it’s out of control. I’d like to do something about it, but I’m not sure how that’s going to happen at the moment. I discovered that I really love movies, and I’ve watched 135 movies since I started using Letterboxd in October. I make no promises for less time in front of screens at thirty-eight, but I’d sure like to make sure there’s less time in front of screens in front of my kids. This is 2024 and I’ve got to figure out how to live in it.

When I was thirty-seven, I learned a lot about ADHD, trauma, and neurodiversity. There’s still so much I don’t know, but I started to learn how my own brain ticks, how to be a lot kinder to myself and my patterns, and generally kick guilt to the curb more than ever before. I LOVE IT!

I’m thirty-eight now, and I have high expectations for this year. Not for things going particularly well, or for being particularly happy all the time, but for a lot of things happening. I’m comfortable with it. Whatever happens is what will happen! I don’t always know what words will come out, and sometimes I’m uncomfortable with the process of letting them out. But here I am, showing up.

I hope you’re doing OK, friends. March is over, and spring is coming, even here!