A Rather Literal Christmas Song

I am reposting this one as a Christmas gift, as it got cut off in the transfer… and I know most of you who have read it before will still titter, at least a little bit. Merry Christmas!!


This is to the tune of “Divinum Mysterium”, a very old and cool sounding chant-y hymn tune, normally song with much holier poetry than ours. You can hear the tune with the real song here.

“Jesus the Fetus”

Half thy DNA developéd
In her holy o-ovary
Whether right or left we cannot know
‘Tis a sacred my-ystery.
One gamete did travel through one fallo-o-opian tube
And somehow a zygote thou
Didst become in theotokos womb.

Then thou didst attach to Ma-ary’s
Nourishing endometrium
And grow through trimesters three
U-until her ti-ime had come.
Through that surely virgin vagi-i-i-i-ina
O that holy birth canal
Didst thou make delivery.

Thou didst enter thus until our world,
Followed by placenta of grace.
Joseph cut thy umbellical cord
New indeed to midwifery.
And most likely thou some great cry-y-y-ing did make
When thy lungs did first inhale
Come to save a most irreverent race.


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