Okay Mom, enough with all that sentimental much. It’s my birthday, and it’s my turn!
First off, I am not sure what a birthday is, but it involves lots of paper. And things wrapped in paper. And ripping paper. My little brain is so confused. Are not these things verboten, Mama? Oh well! Ripping! Then more ripping! And new toys! This is AMAZEPANTS.
Also, CAKE. Holy cheesecake, Batman, cake is the stuff! More cake every day forever please!!!
Anyway, uh, before my sugar high really kicks in, Mama wants me to tell you about my life. Well, hm. I am one! Twelve months! I have been in the world for a whole year!
I am awesome, world!
As you can see, I have teeth. Six so far, with two more so close to popping through that my gums are white. Therefore, I still chew on everything, fight naps, and have miserable days. If continual teething were a lifestyle choice, I would not choose it.
I have two definite signs now. It took me a long time to figure out Mama’s weird gesticulating at me, but I’ve finally figured out how to say “milk” and “night-night” in a way that gets Mama to do something I want. And of course, flapping my arms like a manic penguin still works for “PICK ME UP NOW YOU JERK.” I like to sign with my right hand but eat with my left. Just to keep my parents guessing.
As far as words go, I will say “Hi!” but my syllabification is largely the same. Right now I am branching out into sound effects instead. Do you have any idea of the sheer variety of raspberries you can make with different parts of your mouth?! I will show you sometime. I am a raspberry champ.
Also, GRASS! What is this stuff?! Is it always prickley and brown? It has been so long since I’ve gotten to play outside our house or car that the sun almost blinded me the other day. Mama keeps telling me about things like “parks” and “pools” and “playgrounds” and “splash pads” and I do not know what she is saying. I think she is excited to see bright colors that are not plastic or printed on cardboard.
Daddy made me this coat. It is soooo warm. I am not walking, but I am pulling up and cruising and walking fast with a walker. I have free-standed by accident a couple of times, though only for a second.
My favorite activity is throwing things on the ground. Books from my bookshelf, diapers off my changing table, stuff out of mama’s purse, toys out of my cabinet; you name it and I can chuck it. Things look better on the ground. Pretty much always. This applies also to anything stacked in a neat pile or tower.
My second favorite activity is reading. I used to just like flipping pages and chewing on bindings (still mad fun) but ever since Daddy started making me sit patiently while he reads all the words on an actual page, I have learned a new trick. That is, if I want to get Mama or Daddy’s attention, I put a book in their lap, and they will stop what they are doing and read to me for a bit. It seems the most effective way to get them to stop looking at their shiny little internet-boxes that they won’t let me chew on.
My life is pretty great. Not gonna lie. I am a kid now, so look out world. Imma throw your stuff on the ground!