Osborn Fiber Studio

 

Hi! Naomi here, temporary correspondant. My mama is trying to do homework or something, so she decided it’s my turn to contribute to the family business. Mama likes to write about yarn and wool and stuff, which is okay I guess, but I don’t see the big deal. Those things taste like dust and leave little hairs in my mouth. So instead I am going to give you an update about ME. Much more interesting and delicious.

I will be five months old on Wednesday, and I have eyes like an onion – dark blue on the outside, grey green on the inside, and bronze in the middle. Mama thinks they look grey most of the time, but I think they might turn hazel.

 

I LOVE:

• My feet. I am not sure what they are for, but they are fun to grab. I can even get them in my mouth when I have my diaper off. 
• Standing up. I have strong legs; lemme use ’em!

 

 

• Drooling.
• Nakey time. Why does Mama keep putting clothes back on me after bathtime? 
• Walks! We go for walks almost every day. Mama covers me in clothes to protect me from the big shiny ball in the sky, and they make me really hot, but all the sights and sounds are worth it.
• Mama’s toys. She is always carrying around these black boxes with shiney screens, and she doesn’t let me eat them. What gives? She lets me touch though. I took this picture all by myself.

 

 

• Laughing. Mama says sleeping is food for my brain, but laughing is food for my heart. 
• Books. They taste smart.
• Baths. Water is the most surprising thing in the universe, seriously.
• My left thumb. I’m SURE it will make milk one of these days if I suck it hard enough.
• Dresses. They include no structural restrictions to keep my clothes out of my mouth!

 

I HATE:

• Tummy time. Can I skip straight to walking please? 

 

 

• Eating. Okay I don’t HATE eating, but it’s too much work. Can’t I just nurse for three minutes then suck my thumb? And why do Mama and Daddy get to put all those other cool things in their mouths and I can’t?
• Having things taken away from me. What do you mean, “you can’t liquefy and consume that napkin”?
• Neo-patriarchalism. Because seriously, who doesn’t hate that?

Okay, I don’t hate that many things. It’s too awesome being me.

 

Look out world.